alieniverson:

oh no a boy doesnt like my apperance whatever will i do

(via lamapalooza)

suluboo:

relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead 

(Source: ofelrond, via pewubz)

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(via undyingdoloresumbrage)

photosynthesexual:

running-hunting-deducing:

sherdoor:

smallnico:

if you were a twin in ancient rome they would name the firstborn and then name the secondborn after the firstborn

except 

if your older twin’s name was geminus, your name would be anti-geminus

that is the equivalent of naming your children steve and not steve

so what happened when triplets were born 

Steve, Not Steve, Definitely Not Steve.

(via pewubz)

okaywork:

why do moms get so pissed about how many empty water bottles you have in your room 

(via insanitysdarling)

inheritedloss:

vulpes-vulpix:

qtiest:

ya but have u ever seen brown eyes when they’re in the sun??? they literally turn gold like screw those lame ass blue and green motherfuckers gettin all the love

excuse you, my eyes are blue and in the sun they get a steely gray glint just around the pupil and they look pretty damn awesome.

You:

image

(via insanitysdarling)

+

current state of the union:

life is cool, Corey is cool, school is ok, everythings better than average