relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
if you were a twin in ancient rome they would name the firstborn and then name the secondborn after the firstborn
if your older twin’s name was geminus, your name would be anti-geminus
that is the equivalent of naming your children steve and not steve
so what happened when triplets were born
Steve, Not Steve, Definitely Not Steve.
why do moms get so pissed about how many empty water bottles you have in your room
ya but have u ever seen brown eyes when they’re in the sun??? they literally turn gold like screw those lame ass blue and green motherfuckers gettin all the love
excuse you, my eyes are blue and in the sun they get a steely gray glint just around the pupil and they look pretty damn awesome.